Schiavo: to NOT acknowledge when someone gives you a compliment? Agreed.
Christie: Can we just start the interview?
Schiavo: Simmer down. Here…suck on this sugar packet, you’ll feel better.
Christie: No thanks.
Schiavo: Ok. Governor Christie, are you responsible for making certain New Jersey roads look like your arteries?
Christie: Excuse me?
Schiavo: Did you?
Christie: My arteries?
Schiavo: Please answer, Governor. Did you purposely order a blockage of lanes which caused a clog for commuters.
Christie: Enough with the fat jokes, Schiavo.
Schiavo: It’s no joke, Governor. You’ve pissed off a lot of people.
Christie: I had no knowledge that a stunt like this was underway.
Schiavo: Hahahahaha… With all due respect Governor, you are faaaar from “under weight”…
Christie: I said underWAY.
Schiavo: Oh.
Christie: Look, I was very sad to hear..
Schiavo: that the McRib isn’t back yet?
Christie: NO!
Schiavo: My bad. Continue…
Christie: (sigh) Where was I?
Schiavo: EXACTLY my point! Where were you when this traffic prank was being planned?! Hmmm?!
Christie: No one told me…
Schiavo: that you are single-handedly responsible for the Velveeta shortage in this country?
Christie: I don’t have to take this. This interview is over.
Schiavo: Why? Because you’re avoiding the truth? And mirrors.
Christie: No. Because you keep veering away from the facts.
Schiavo: Well, Governor. I’m here to discuss your performance, not to talk about you being fat.
Christie: FACTS!
Schiavo: Yes! Now we’re getting somewhere. Please give me the facts about what happened.
Christie: I’m still trying to get to the bottom..
Schiavo: Of that Cracker Jack box? I’ll wait. Doubt it will take that long.
Christie: This is a waste of time.
Schiavo: Well, it’s more like a waste of calories but…
Christie: Seriously? Is this all you came here for? To poke fun at my weight.
Schiavo: I’m sorry, Governor. It’s just too easy. It’s the low hanging fruit…. FRUIT being a food group that you should seriously consider.
Christie: We’re done.
Schiavo: Ok Ok, truce. See, the thing is, I drive from Manhattan to New Jersey quite often because that’s where my family lives. Now that I have a baby, sitting in traffic is not ideal. So this little trick of yours….excuse me.. this little trick “of your staffer’s” really annoyed me.
Christie: Okay, but I had nothing to do with it.
Schiavo: Well, if I find out that you did, watch out!
Christie: Oh yeah…what are you gonna do? Haha…
Schiavo: I won’t vote for you in 2016.
Christie: You’re not voting for me anyway.
Schiavo: You never know.
Christie: Ohhhhhh I know. Trust me, there isn’t MUCH you can get past me, my dear. Not this guy.
Schiavo: Hmmm. I see. Unless it’s a traffic prank, of course. Right, Governor? Got it!
(This is for entertainment purposes only. This is not a real interview with NJ Governor Chris Christie)
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